Loving God is Hard

Loving God is not always easy, loving God is hard.  We show love to him through our obedience. He created us with one purpose in mind, to share his Love.  The trinity wanted to create out of love and to share that love.

It’s hard to obey and follow Christ when he’s asking us to love other people. YES, even that person that just flipped you off driving down the road. YES, the person that abused you. YES, those that attack you on social media or in person or talk about you poorly behind your back.

It’s hard to be a parent that is tired, frustrated to love a child that continues to cause arguments in your home and disrespect you. 

Jesus chose love!
Even when 1 of his closest friends (Judas) turned him in for money

Even when he was asked by his family to just quiet down and not cause such a fuss with the church leaders. 

He still went to the cross and became totally separated from God the Father, the one that he created with because he LOVED us, his creation!

He was God he could have said, forget it, you people are helpless! That would have been easy.

Sex does not equal loving someone

Getting everything you want or giving someone everything they think they want and need, is not showing them love.

The Bible and especially the Gospels are very very offensive! If you read them and they make you feel all warm and fuzzy all the time, reconsider.  The stories Jesus told in order to teach people were asking them and us to do things that naturally if left to ourselves we do not like to do.

Why don’t we want to be more like Jesus sometimes? Maybe it makes us feel like a weirdo, it’s uncomfortable, costs too much of our money (BTW it’s God’s money), people will say things about us, I’ll have to talk to that person that I don’t care for or hurt me, I’ll have to admit I was wrong and apologize.

TRUE LOVE is hard.  Think about good marriages and relationships in your life, it is work and prayer to keep those going.  We don’t always agree or see things the same way so we will argue and fight, but true love finds truth and doesn’t let these things divide and separate what God is making holy.

We are being divided now, so much arguing and hate.  This has to make our creator so sad, because it’s the opposite of why we were created! I’m sad and frustrated too. Are you?

Satan is just smiling at how easy we are making his job.  He hates human life, he’ll do anything to destroy it, distract it from God, keep it sick and miserable. He thought he could do better than God, better than the one who created him.  Where are you and I in our lives thinking the same thing, that we could do better than God?

I like order, this means I become controlling at times, with my health, home, kids, spouse, community. I sit and second guess my gut instinct and overthink and ponder.  I’m being disobedient! Satan is tricking me into thinking the Holy Spirit I feel in me is wrong so I should wait and research more or think of all the negative things that could happen.  I lack trust.  He is trying to put fear in me and fear is not from God.

Why is it so hard to trust a God that I know is good, loving and kind.  A loving father who in the Bible told us about the good fruit he plans for in our lives, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5: 22-23)  I think ANYONE Christian or not would look at that list and think, “Yes, I think those are things I would like and like to see in the people in my life.”

I’m not afraid of what is going on everywhere, I’m ready to be strong and fight against the evil that is seeping out.  Evil is patient and is cunning (think of Hitler, Stalin)

If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory of God (2 Corinthians 5:13). We are called to live a life for Christ and not for just ourselves. I’m learning to call out satan in the name of Jesus, because that’s the only way! I publicly declare the wrong and evil of satan to stay away from my family, friends, community, country, our leaders.  I declare healing, not limited to just physical, for all of God’s people (and that’s EVERYONE reading this)

I’m praying that those that don’t know the true love of God find it.  I can tell you what he’s done in my life and the freedom of it, but you have to find it in your life for yourself. Pray, pray and pray! It doesn’t have to be wordy or fancy.  Sometimes I just say “Jesus”, because my heart is hurting I don’t have the words and he knows me and knows what I need. He brings me comfort.

Loving God is hard, it doesn’t mean just going Sunday’s to a fun church with great music and “perfect” people. Yes,  it’s wonderful to get together with people to worship and study scripture and discuss the joys and concerns we all have and pray over all of it. But the real love comes Monday-Saturday at all hours of the day and it’s taking me a lifetime to put in to practice and it’s getting easier.

My 94 year old demented grandma Jean can’t remember who I am most of the time, it seems God has taken the painful memories that use to cause her much distress. But, she is often caught singing hymns and praising God randomly by nursing home staff and every time I visit her I see Jesus in her, the joy.  Each time she shares her words of encouragement about life and how good God has been to her. Words that when she was of sound mind I wouldn’t listen too because I thought I didn’t need that and it was annoying and she was crazy.

She had awful things in her life, an abusive spouse for 40 years, she lost her daughter suddenly (my mom when she was only 40), she lost another child in the last 10 years.  She suffered from fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis so bad she started sleeping in a recliner like 15 years ago.  Loving God is hard, when you go through ridiculous pain. You feel the opposite, that he doesn’t love you because you are suffering.

But she does not complain and she loves Jesus.  There were many many good things in her life too! She reminds me it’s all a part of life in a broken world.  God and his world are still good.

Loving God can be hard, but in the end he has placed eternity with him in all our hearts and that can help you do the hard things, love those difficult people and show mercy over and over again. It makes us courageous and unafraid because we know this physical life on Earth isn’t all there is. For those that love God and have declared Jesus their savior we will all be singing constant praise in Heaven when we leave Earth. I’m excited!

Don’t take my word for it, read the Bible for yourself, story after story of people who were disobedient, messed up majorly and he continued to welcome them with love when they confessed and turned back to him.

No one every said life would be easy or perfect but it is still very very good. Praise be to God!

 

Back to School Growth For Mama

This is not a moment of tears or heart ache for this mama.  Why, I don’t know, I just have never been one to be super emotional with my kids.  I missed Owen (my oldest) when I had to leave him at 6 weeks old at the daycare provider and I returned to my full time Physical Therapist Assistant position. But, I trusted her and was confident in her ability to keep him alive.  Plus he was a thumb sucker so was always able to self-soothe.

Owen 6th

1st days of kindergarten, the kids have never been fearful, none of them.  Maybe this is why I don’t get too emotional?  All my kids have never known a stranger and sometimes that is a concern in this day and age but in moments like this where I need them to fly they do so very well.

I realize that I’m only a part of their life and they are only a part of mine.  They are not my whole life and my life might temporarily revolve around them and their needs, but just temporarily,  I have great visions and ideas God has put in me for when they no longer require my everyday assistance.

Isn’t that the point of #momlife? To work ourselves out of a job, it’s the only job you hope to become fired from.  For some of us it’s the only job you may have ever known, and I can understand how that would be scary. But God has great plans for you to continue to be that caregiver in other ways I just know it (Jeremiah 29:11-13). In building great relationships with our children we will always be needed by them too, I mean I still wish at times I could message my mom and ask something or vent.  God has made sure to place loving friends in my life to fill this void.

Nora 4th

Here is a psychological spin on it, my Mom died when I was 16, my 3 younger sisters were between 6-13, at that moment I became a “mom”, I carried on the schedules and routines my mom had already established (she was VERY good at that).  That is why these are still something I cling too, there is this deep-seated feeling that I want my kids to feel confident and prepared if anything should happen.  Now, this is completely NOT trusting in God and his plan for me or my kids. God took the best care of me that he could during that period of my life, or as much as I would allow him to.  Sometimes we do that, he is waiting with open arms to comfort us, provide wisdom and we do not allow ourselves to be open to that, he can’t force us to love him, it goes against his nature.

Ok so, that is why maybe I don’t fear the kids leaving or school? My Mom being gone at such a young age was HORRIBLE but as an adult I can look back and see the blessings, yes there are blessings in loss. I understand that this life is temporary and I ultimately have zero control of anything but how I respond and how I can choose love in any circumstance.  What can I learn from this? What character is this situation helping me build? What is God going to use this growth in me for now?

I can tell you a negative side of this is that I do have too high expectations for my kids and their abilities to be more independent and take care of themselves (for pete’s sake they are 4-11). This is something I continually am asking for wisdom on and reading all I can through my Bible or other authors that come recommended, podcasts, or those moms that are just a step ahead of me.  So please share resources that you have benefited from.

Molly 2nd

While I am an individual that thrives with organization and plans and schedules (I am an Enneagram 6 ).  These crazy kids have taught me some chaos and unpredictability is ok and have made me more dependent on God, which I’m sure was his plan all along in throwing us 5 kids in 7 years!

Ruby Kindergarten

Here is how I see today, this 1st day of school, after a summer full of fighting and loud.  It wasn’t all crazy, there were ballgames, pool trips, other trips, time with friends. They have been put on the bus this morning, I have JOY in the peace that I will be getting during the days now, it’s quiet where I can listen more to what God has to say.  I’ve been practicing all summer listening for the Holy Spirit in the LOUD it should be simple to pick out that voice when it’s quiet?  I’m ready for my own learning and growth.  I’ve established new habits during the summer with myself and the kids that the goal would be this will help us thrive completely during the school year. 

So whatever feelings may be going on inside your mama heart on these 1st days of school, embrace those and take a moment to think about why you feel this way, why am I thinking this way?  Let’s get excited about the next stage God has in his plan for us and our families. He intends for us to feel that joy down deep in our hearts regardless of the circumstance and my prayer for anyone that comes across this is that you have that, or that you are in the process of finding it.

Now, off to declutter toys and do those tasks that have been on the list all summer!  Shoot, a blog post in the 1st day when it’s been months since the last one!!! I’m super excited about the 2019/2020 school year.

Greta and I ready to take on every school day together!

Stay well!